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  My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the  person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they  only had iceberg lettuce. 

From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee  asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled  knowingly and nodded,
   'That's why we ask.'
   Happened in Birmingham ,  Ala.  


  The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was  crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew  what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light  is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing  driving?!'

   She  was a probation officer in Wichita , KS   


  At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the  company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We  should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at  each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
   This was a lunch at  Texas Instruments.    


  I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and  for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. 

  A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no  less.  


When  my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were  told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and  found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.  As I  watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.  'Hey,' I announced to the technician,  'its open!'  His reply, 'I know.  I already got that  side.'
  This  was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

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