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    1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

    2. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton

    3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

  4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

    5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

    6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

    7. 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 Lite year

    8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

    9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon

   10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

   11. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

   12. Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line

   13. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

   14. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

   15. 1000 ccs of wet socks = 1 literhosen

   16. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms

 

     "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

          - George Carlin (05/12/1937-06/22/2008)